


Yuri on Ice - The Harem

by sendosenpai



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gay, Gay Sex, Harems, Humor, Love Triangle, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 05:31:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendosenpai/pseuds/sendosenpai
Summary: Yuri, Yurio and Viktor all battle strong feelings for the same man. Who will win in the end?





	1. Chapter 1

Ice is beautiful.  
Everyone loves Ice.  
Yuri loves Ice.  
Viktor loves Ice.  
Blonde Yuri loves Ice.  
The other characters love Ice.  
They all want to get with Ice.  
Ice is shy.  
He blushes when they flirt with him.  
He can’t choose just one man from his harem of admirers.  
He agrees to go on a date with them all.  
Viktor takes him to the hot springs. Ice naked in the hot springs is the most glorious creature Viktor has ever seen. Monkey emoji.  
Viktor tries to kiss Ice but Ice runs away, and leaves his shu behind. Like (I)C(e)inderella.  
Blonde Yuri takes him to a cheerleading routine. Ice joins in. Ice with his pom poms is the cutest thing Blonde Yuri has seen. He tries to arrange a second date but Ice says no.  
Other characters all take him on dates. None of them can do it for Ice though. He wants more.  
Yuri is the last one. Ice thinks he has seen it all. But Yuri takes him finger skating. He demonstrates elaborate routines with his thumb and forefinger. Ice is very turned on. He invites Yuri to his bedroom. They do kinky, dirty things. Yuri is ON Ice!!!  
Ice looks like Shu. Ice......... is Shu. Monkey emoji. Winky face. Aubergine. Raindrops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shu is a character from Princess Jellyfish, as you might know from my other work 'Let me be the wallpaper that papers up your room' (which you should check out if you haven't yet xx)


	2. Chapter 2

Yurio and Viktor are sad Ice doesn’t reciprocate their love.   
Their sadness turns into anger and they plot to sabotage the yuri x ice (relation)ship.   
They see Ice and Yuri at an ice skating rink.   
Ice is staring at Yuri in wonder as Yuri demonstrates the flexible use of his legs.   
Viktor and Yurio join Yuri on the skating rink and team up to trip him over with a carefully placed banana peel.   
Yuri falls flat on his face.   
Yuri is embarrassed.   
Yurio and Viktor think viktory is theirs.   
They skate over to Ice and perform their own mating dances.   
Ice blushes.   
Yurio notices Viktor is better than him at shimmying. Angry face emoji.  
It turns into a dance off.   
Almost like a Dance with devils. Winky face.   
Yuri has to defend his man.   
He blows them all away with his moves like Jagger.   
Ice has never been more turned on.  
“I’d let you skate all over my body any time, “ says Ice in a lewd manner.   
Ice and Yuri go to Ice's bedroom and do the unmentionable. (Yuri is ON Ice!!! AGAIN!!!!)   
Yuri becomes Ice's booty call. Phone emoji.   
Neither of them would have it any other way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated for those 4 kudoses and 1 comment!! >.<

Yuri buys two rings at a cheap local kiosk.  
He puts one on and gives the other to Ice during their sexy times.  
Ice is not expecting this.  
He thinks it’s kinky role-playing.  
But their role-playing normally consists of finger skating championships! (confused face emoji).  
So what does all this meeen??  
It suddenly makes sense and Ice decides to accept the ring.  
After all Yuri has Fought, Birthed, Crossdressed, Bled and been Caffeinated for Love. Ice has Not Believed In, been Blinded by and Inspired by Love. It was All for Love. Even A Judas' Kiss didn’t get in the way.  
Hewwo Magazine runs a story on this event.  
After all Ice is famous for his byooty, and Yuri for his finger(skat)ing.  
So the Yuri x Ice ship is the most pepular in the universe.  
Even aliens are excited.  
Viktor wants to be the Vic(t)ar.  
Blonde Yuri wants to be the Flower Boi.  
JJ wants to perform to be able to promote his band’s shitty new album.  
All the other characters want to be bridesmades/made of honour.  
Yuri reads the article out the next mourning.  
He is confused.  
“Whaaaaaaat? Why would they think we’re engaged?” he asks his mans.  
Ice blushes.  
He has no clue.  
Obviously wedding rings mean lucky charms for fingering championships! What does an engagement have to do with it?  
Silly tabloid bois.  
Ice says he’ll marry Yuri if he wins the fingering gold medal for the press' benefit.  
Yuri only gets silver despite his thumb and forefinger prowess.  
They are relieved they don’t have to merry, and celebrate with dirty, animal sexual intercourse.  
Yuri is ON Ice ONCE MORE!!!  
Monkey Emoji.


	4. YUKI on Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hewwo bonus chapter for ya'll  
> As per popular request - A future diary and Yuri on Ice crossover chapter!! ^.^ enjoy, my loyal fans!

Ice is bored.  
Yuri's gone to Russia for a finger skating championship and Ice has no one to satisfy his animalistic sexual desires.  
Ice is jealous of all the thumb and forefinger action those Soviets are getting to see, while Ice is getting nothing.  
Viktor and Blonde Yuri both try to ask him out yet again, but Ice rejects them.  
Ice wants a rael man.  
Or so he thinks...  
He meets Yuki at a phone repair store.  
Following their lust at first sight, they engage in regular kinky acts.  
YUKI is On!!! Ice.  
Yuki is weak and submissive.  
Ice enjoys feeling dominant.  
He feels like Christian Grey.  
One day, Ice receives death threats on Tumblr by someone with the username YunoxYuki69.  
Ice is scared.  
Yuki is more scared. He cries.  
Yuki's Future Diary, now more like an erotic novel than anything else, predicts YunoxYuki69 will find them.  
Ice decides to face YunoxYuki69.  
Yuki is very scared. He cries again.  
Yuno enters their bedroom at night wielding an axe.  
When she glimpses Ice's beauty, she forgets about Yuki.  
“I want to cover you in whipped cream, Ice, and lick you all over,” she says seductively.  
Ice blushes.  
Yuki cowers.  
Yuno wants to kill the competition so that Ice will be hers.  
She moves towards Yuki, but slips on the puddle of his tears, and falls onto her own axe, effectively killing herself.  
Yuki and Ice resume their affair. Tongue emoji. Monkey emoji.  
They are both very satisfied. Winky face.


End file.
